Setup
by Celebrity Martyr
Summary: It's over. Thanks for reading!
1. The Worst

**Hello everyone, and welcome to the lowly-anticipated story...**

 **Drumroll.**

 **"Setup"**

 **Now, you may wonder: "what does this have to do with the story?"**

 **Well, it doesn't. The story is called setup because of something that happens at the end of the story. And then I'll explain it because it is hard to explain.**

 **So, without furtherado, lesgo.**

You look at all the great monarchs of time. James the First, Caesar Augustus, Queen Victoria, King Louis the 14th. All led great monarchies, all of which held power. If you were to rank all the monarchs in order from greatest power to weakest power, it would be a hard task. However, the easiest part would be naming the worst. And they resided in the Kingdom of Mewni.

Led by Queen Moon and King River Butterfly, the monarchy is one of the worst in history. However it is not recorded of course, due to it being placed in a different dimension.

But how did it become this way?

You see, the Butterfly's were given a kingdom that was in well shape. It was prospering, beautiful, and was a real tourist attraction for outer-dimensional creatures.

But then came time for River and Moon.

Given the monarchy by King Leo and Queen Aries, it was still that prospering monarchy.

The reason for its power was simple. Make life simplistic, and make all money based off of farming and tourism. There were no taxes. There was no need for taxes, as farming was a booming industry, as it was placed around dimensions that lacked the ability to grow crops. And, with it being beautiful as it is (or was), tourism sent at least 10,000 creatures to the dimension daily.

And with the money, they put it less into their extravagant castle, and more into the commoners' lives, such as advanced cropping tools and better housing, and the excess went to military and education.

The system worked. The people loved it, and it made Mewni a force to be reckoned with.

Then that fateful day came upon them. First, King Leo dropped dead. Then, a few days later, Queen Aries died as well.

Before they died, they both gave final words to the ones that were going to rule next. The ones they weren't going to see.

" _Don't fuck it up."_

However, they did.

Royally.

The first damning thing they did was to start enforcing taxes. These taxes however, served no purpose. Look at it as money laundering for the King and Queen. Next, they focused away from trade and cut off almost all of its trading ties. Then, it made strict border rules that made tourism near impossible. And finally, they once again took the excess money from the previous monarchs and half pocketed it, and the rest was put into the military.

And the money they pocketed?

They took that to build their extravagant castle, to a point you couldn't see where they lived.

In all, they were corrupt, and they were oblivious as all hell to it.

Five years into the monarchy, they started planning a child.

In order to keep the Butterfly name alive, they needed a child next in line. And in nine months, the thing appeared.

Born on Mewni in Earth years, 2001. In Mewni years, however, the King and Queen decided that the calendar restarted with the start of their monarchy, so, 5. Riveting stuff.

This part maybe small, but in the end, this is how we get our main character. Be patient, because shit is about to go down.

As Mewni fell more and more down the poverty line, a leader that had snuck in during the early days of the monarchy (as the border control was very weak at that time) had been rallying for freedom. His name was Rebeldes Miscompaneros. A mouthful, I know.

But he snuck in more than the kingdom could chew.

You see, he came in from a land where gun control was very loose. Every other day someone would get shot over the smallest things, one in which got shot over touching a teaset that wasn't his. Fun. But he was Mewnian Cartel of weapons, and, without the kingdom knowing, had trained them from the beginning, all apart of a plan that would take 6 years to finish.

At this point, Star had been born, and they're five months away from taking it over.

Let's study this man, Rebeldes.

About 6'5'', a mixed individual (complexion wise), and buff. Like Batman vs Superman Ben Affleck buff.

He was a leader. In his old dimension, he was a drill sergeant and general. A weird mix. However, with puny armies, he would take on some of the best, building an empire without his name. Which is why he got tired of it. He left for Mewni, seeing how he could seize power easily.

But how would he approach this?

It was a simple, complex plan.

First, train the Mewnians. Mewnians were peaceful for quite some time. Farming, tourism, and such. They wouldn't resort to violence until someone threw a third punch. However, as months went by in the cataclysmic monarchy that was River and Moon, hatred and anger grew. It became Happy Valley to Detroit in a matter of 6 months.

And it was the only way the could vent.

But now they had their ways.

The next step was to smuggle weapons across the border, and not just any weapons, I mean ADVANCED weapons. North Korea weapons.

RPGs, semi-automatics, etc. Weapons that could easily combat the swords of Mewni's militia.

Third. Final. Bomb the lower layer of the castle, and then attack, setting up 4 stations on each side, covering every possible escape route.

The Butterflies were dying no matter what.

And step 2 was halfway done.

Let's flash forward to step 3. And the execution.

You see, it was always a plan to wait for a special occasion. Like the Boston Marathon bombings. It was major, but not that major. They wouldn't expect it. Plus, you got to kill innocent fuckers, and that made you feel a bit better about your pathetic little life as a 4th world dimension.

So.

How it went down.

Mewni was wanting to make ties to another dimension, Fluridio, which was viewed as the trashy part of that area, so, yet again a very unwise decision by the monarchy.

But, because of that status, it was a minor event. It was another way to gain strength (as the kingdom had none) and make money, which, as you have seen was a must-have for Mewni.

So the plan went like this (for the kingdom): get them to the higher level. Make sure none of the commoners come near to the Fluridions, as it could and would change the decision on whether the two would pact. Then from there, they would discuss the negotiations and somehow trick them into getting more money. River studied business more than actually ruling a kingdom, so he was in charge of that.

But, this is where things would get slippery.

The Fluridions would arrive at 2:45 P.M. As soon they set foot in the lobby of the castle, the bomb would go off, as it was a landmine. And then all hell would break loose.

Before it was to kick off, all of the Mewninian Confederacy was to meet in a concealed bunker underground, with Rebeldes leading the core.

Now, prepare for the most monumental part of this first chapter: DIALOGUE

"My friends! Counterparts! Coworkers, I don't know!" He started with a yell.

"Today is the start of something old, yet new!"

He was met with a few thousand yells, all positive with joy.

"But now it is time to execute! Execution is key to this plan! We don't execute, we fail! We don't think ahead, we fail!" He started off. "What if this doesn't work? What if the bomb doesn't go off! We need leaders! And so it happens, I have them!" He turns around showing 4 people, 2 men, 2 women.

"John, Bill, Susan, Karol!" He started, showing them triumphantly. "These will be your guide! I will be in the midst! They will be your eyes and ears!"

They cheered, anxious to battle.

"Now! It's 2:45 P.M., and-" He stopped. And for 5 seconds, silence. Everyone looked confused.

Then all hell broke loose.

"BEGIN!"

 **Well, that's the start of the story. Now, to explain.**

 **Rebeldes will not a main character, which is why I'm brief and to the point with him.**

 **Marco will be brought in Chapter 3 or 4, maybe 2 if lucky.**

 **CONSTRUCTIVE Criticism is needed, not just "u suck cuz u suck"**

 **Thank you for** **suffering** **reading this, and I'll see you in a bit.**


	2. Chewed Up and Spit Out

**It's been a while. Life has gotten in my way. But now, it returns triumphantly, Setup is here.**

 **We begin now.**

"BEGIN!" Rebeldes said, rallying up his troops for the final battle. The bombs went off as soon as the Fluridions set foot in the lobby of the palace, setting of the chain reaction of events that would set up our plot.

At the top of the tower, Moon was taking care of her crying daughter Star, while River waited anxiously at the window, waiting for their arrival.

But there was no arrival.

Just a sound of an explosion, which drew his attention.

"Moon, did you feel that?" He asked, worried.

"Feel what?" She responded, feeding the bottle to Star.

As soon as River opened his mouth, the tower toppled over, sending both of them falling.

"FLOATING BUBBLE PROTECTION!" Moon screamed, encasing her daughter in an indestructible bubble that would protect her from the fall.

As River went down, he thought slowly, trying to figure out what had caused this attack. He heard screams. Screams from his people.

" _This was an attack on our kind! This would obviously mean war."_

But as he went down, the screams went from fear to celebration, and he realized the grim reality.

His own people want him and his family killed.

The tower landed, leaving River and Moon with ankle and leg injuries. The crowd moved over fast, getting ready to kill the final Butterfly's.

"MOON! We need to act fast! I'll get the scissors, I'll teleport us out, and then we'll go! Keep watch!" River said, yelling the plan.

"I think it would be wise to not yell the plan."

She ran over, ready to protect her family.

River ran over to the bed, where the kept the extra dimensional scissors. Along with that, he grabbed a 100 pound bag of gold, and a big book full of spells. He turned around, only to be face to face with his wife.

"We need to run." River said, urgency in her voice. "Don't be so afraid! We'll-"

"No. We need to get out. Now." Moon interrupted, trying to leave. "Why?"

"Because they're sending the best soldier!"

"What do you mean? That can't be so bad-"

A bullet flew right over his head, hitting off his crown in the process.

"Well, it is." Rebeldes said, blowing the smoke from his gun.

"Now." He started, ready for his villain monologue.

"Dance." He started shooting at River's feet, moving forward with every bullet.

"You know, this is too much fun. I'll end up ruining all of it if I don't kill you now." He pointed up, right at River's forehead, pulled the trigger, and-

"GIANT BUBBLE PROTECTION!"

A bigger bubble, containing all 3 of the butterflies, bouncing the bullet off of the bubble, and back at Rebeldes's leg, to which he immediately recoiled.

"AH SHIT!"

River quickly opened up a portal to god knows where, hoping for the best, and walked in with the rest of his family.

Rebeldes got up, obviously paining with every second. He saw the crown laid on the ground, left by River, and picked it up. He placed it on his head, to which he remarked,

"Long live the king."

He paused for a second.

"I'll kill them when it's time."

 **Time Skip Quote: Daddy's Little Psycho and Mommy's Little Soldier**

River was in shit creek without a paddle. It was desert for miles, no food, no water.

"River, you didn't think it through, did you?" Moon said condescendingly.

"Well, do you think I care where I take us during a crisis? We're lucky we're not dead. It's not every day we have a terrorist attack carried on by our own people." River retaliated.

"True, but it was given during training."

" _That was 60 fucking years ago!_ Do you think I remember that?" River yelled, walking forward.

Moon followed suit, and silence ensued for the next 10 minutes, as they walked forwards, looking for life.

"Where do you think we are?" Moon asked, unsure of where they were.

"Probably a dimension abandoned for at least 100 years. We'll be lucky if we have any signs of life. Let's do this: one more hour of searching, and we'll go somewhere else." River answered.

Moon nodded her head, and another silence period took place.

45 minutes later, they spotted a machine, a rather bulky one, looking like a giant version of one of their chariots, except with wheels instead of invisible goats. River took charge immediately, charging towards the machine. After charging, he politely knocked on the door.

He could hear the sound of panicked ruffling from inside the machine, and then came out another person with a gun. This time it was a young man no older than 24, in baggy clothing, pointing a gun at them.

" _What the hell are you doing here, bitch?"_ The man said, pointing at River.

River nervously gulped, and tried to speak, but was pushed aside by Moon.

"I'm Moon. He's River. We are lost. You probably heard of us?" Moon said.

"Honestly, who the hell are you? I've never seen you before, heard of you, and you're dressed like you just came out from Comic-Con." The man responded, the gun still pointed.

"We are royalty from the Mewni dimension!" Moon responded.

"This is the United States of America, _bitch._ We are a democracy. Now please leave before I blow your fucking brains out."

"Do you want proof?" Moon said, a smug smile on her face. "Alright, grandma. Prove it."

"Foot to Hand Mishap." She said nonchalantly.

The man's hands became his feet, and vice versa, making his gun go to the ground.

" _What the fuck bitch?"_ The man, said, falling down at the same time as his gun did.

"Now will you let me in to your establishment?" Moon said smugly.

"Yes, bitch, as long as you change me back!" He said, fire in his eyes. Moon did as she was told, and he got turned back to normal. He picked up his gun and then ushered them in.

" _How did you do that?"_ River whispered. " _Doing something rather than threatening someone is usually a better tactic."_ Moon whispered back, a smug smile still plastered on her face.

They walked in, and the first thing both of them spotted was a bald man in a gas mask, surrounded by various flasks filled with various liquids, all of which emitted a smoke with a smell that made both cringe. The bald man, no more than 51, turned around and was scared by the fact that two strangers were in his RV. He threw off his gas mask and ceased production on whatever he was making, and began to yell at the younger man.

" _What the hell are these strange people doing in our RV!?"_ He asked angrily, walking fast at the young man.

" _They are legit magic, yo. You don't need to be fucking with them."_ The younger man responded, charging back at the older man.

" _Are you high again, because I will-"_ The bald man was interrupted by Moon.

"Magical Mouth Marauder." Both the bald man and the baggy clothes man mouths' disappeared, causing the bald man to clutch his mouth while nothing is there, and the younger man to look at him clearly disappointed.

"Magical Mouth Materialization." Their mouths reappeared, causing the bald man to charge quickly at the two.

"Who are you, and what do you want?" The man said threateningly, ready to snap at them. River took his step first.

"We want to know where we are, and if possible, we pay you to take us to your main city and/or leader." River said confidently.

"Well first I'd like to know what you are doing out here, where you come from, and who you are. You are magic for hell's sake." The bald man responded. This time it was Moon who took the first step.

"I am Queen Moon Butterfly, and he is King River Butterfly. We _were_ king and queen of the Mewni dimension, until our own people overthrew us just around an hour ago, leading to our very minor injuries. We teleported out our dimension and into another random one, and ended up here. We are here to start a new life and raise our daughter, Star, correctly."

The bald man was taken aback at this statement, and didn't question it due to the fact his mouth just got taken away from his body.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that." He stopped talking and smiled. This made River confused.

"Weren't you supposed to tell us where we are?" River asked.

"Oh, shit. My bad. This is the 'Earth Dimension'", the extra emphasis on "Earth Dimension", "In the country of the United States, State of New Mexico, city of Albuquerque. That does answer anything?" River, obviously pleased by this answer, took charge.

"Why yes! I studied the Earth Dimension in my time studying for the crown! A wonderful place this is! So, will you take us to urban Albuquerque?" River asked.

The younger man in the baggy clothes barged into the scene.

"Where's the pay, geezer?" He said impatiently.

River grabbed a handful of Mewnian currency out of the 100 pound bag, equal to about one pound. He handed it over to the younger man.

"What are these, Sacajawea dollars? What the hell?" The bald man looked over, and then looked ecstatic. "Yo, what's up with you?"

"Jesse, this is pure gold. And this equals out to about a pound. That is almost $19,500. That will help out our business big time!"

"That means we can get faster on cooking the cryst-" The bald man covered the younger man's mouth, telling him to be quiet. The Butterfly's didn't mind this, and were anxious to get on their way.

 **Daddy's Little Psycho and Mommy's Little Solider**

They arrived in urban Albuquerque after about 45 minutes.

"Thank you for the ride, stranger!" Moon replied. "Now. Where to live." Moon asked herself and River, looking at a billboard sign that read _Diaz Realty._

 **Well, sorry for the wait, but I hope this chapter helped out a lot. I've noticed a lack of SvTFOE fanfics lately, and I wanted to change that. I'll try to start uploading regularly.**

 **Next chapter will start the beginning of Marco.**

 **Now! A game I want to start.**

 **For 50 points: name the song that my time skip quote came from.**

 **For 25 points: name the show the bald man and the baggy clothes man came from.**

 **Thanks for reading, and as always, keep your stick on the ice.**


	3. Redundant

**Fuckers.**

 **No one reviewed, and I feel like no one read. Thanks.**

 **The answers:**

 **Bang Bang- Green Day**

 **Breaking Bad**

 **I'm not in the best of moods right now, no thanks to you asshats (at this point, you should be taking the joke), so let's just continue.**

 _"So amigos, you're interested in buying a home?"_

The question seemed rhetoric. They went to a realty place, and he's asking if they wanted to buy a home. No, I came here to buy fucking garlic bread.

"Yes, so what house seem to be available?" River asked, Moon still confused about the question.

"Well, none in this area. We actually survey parts of Albuquerque and Sante Fe. Me and the esposa do joint. I take Albuquerque, she takes Sante Fe. So, how much are you willing to pay for a home?"

"Well, depending on how it is. I'd actually like a 6-7 roomed house, simple, how much would that cost?" Moon asked, being the "accountant" of the family.

"$400,000-$500,000."

River smiled positively as he spilled 50 pound of pure gold on the table.

"Is that enough?" Both River and Moon smiled eagerly.

This Diaz person looked _nervous._ He was sweating. Then, it turned into joy.

"Oh my god! Thank you! Thank you!" He started jumping. "Let me measure this, and I'll be back." Just when he thought it couldn't get better, Moon shouted, "Keep the change!"

He almost collapsed right there.

 **Transition Quote: I'm Sure You Heard It All Before But You Never Really Had A Doubt**

"Angie! Answer!" The Diaz man said, screaming in to some rectangular object.

" _Hello?"_ She said, expecting a deal.

"Angie! Get to Albuquerque immediately! We might be able to retire!" He said, ecstatic.

" _What do you mean?"_ She asked, obviously confused.

" _thEy pAId In gOld AngIE. fIfty pOUnds! AlmOst OnE mIllIOn!"_

She hung up. Rafael turned around to see his wife, obviously excited at the news.

"Let's get these nice people a house." Angie said, ready to deal.

 **I'm Sure You Heard It All Before But You Never Really Had A Doubt**

"So, where do you hail from, my friends?" Rafael asked, trying to be as nice as possible.

River elbowed Moon mischievously.

"We're magical royalty from the Mewni dimension." River said, waiting for a response.

"I don't need proof for that! Anyone wearing that garb is obviously magic or royalty!" Angie said.

Both River and Moon were confused as to how these people were so enthusiastic to helping them out. All they knew from this point is that they needed to help them out in return.

They bought the house, got the keys, and a tour. Before the Diaz's were to leave, the Butterfly's asked them in for dinner and talked about their predicament.

"Well, is there anything we can do for help?" Angie asked, wanting to also repay these people.

"Well, there is one." River said, Moon looking confused. "There is?" " _Yes River, I thought this through."_ He said in a whisper.

He then went back to regular speaking. "If in any case that nutjob comes back to try to kill us, we will trust you with our daughter Star. She is 8 months as of now. If anything happens. I hope it doesn't."

The Diaz's knew that if that were to happen, they would have to be prepared.

The Butterfly's thought the same.

 **I'm Sure You Heard It All Before But You Never Really Had A Doubt**

As they left, Moon and River got accustomed. Slowly.

 **Five Years Later**

"I think." Moon said, holding a phone in her hand, "I _might_ know how it works."

She pressed the camera option and starting video taping. It was a message for the future. So _she_ could survive.

She took a good look at her five year old daughter, enjoying the playthings she was given.

 **I'm Sure You Heard It All Before But You Never Really Had A Doubt**

The family sits in the living room. On TV was Gordan Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen, a family favorite for quite a while. Moon sat on the single seated sofa, River laid on the couch, and Star was cramped up laughing at Ramsay's interactions with the chefs.

" _It's fUckIng rAw!"_ He would say, his voice cracking every ten seconds.

"The dude should take a break! Do you think he does that to his kids?" Star, now 15, said laughing.

"Probably not, I've seen him in interviews. He's pretty chill." River said, trying to emphasize "chill" to sound "hip."

Star cringed.

Then, the doorbell rung.

"River, get that." Moon said, looking into a book, not looking up.

"Moon, I always have to get it."

"You'll sleep on that couch."

"Fine." Star chuckled a bit at this conversation.

River walked up to the door. When he opened it, he was greeted with quite a surprise.

A face he hadn't seen in fifteen years, holding a gun to his face. He never got the name, but it was happening.

 _"Surprise!"_ Rebeldes said, ready to kill.

 **Well, sorry that was a bit short. High school is starting for me and it's already stressful.**

 **75 points to whoever can guess the song.**

 **Review please?**


	4. New Beginnings

**Well, you're most likely getting monthly-to-weekly updates. Highschool is a bitch so far, and well, also am I.**

 **Thanks for the 3 reviews. I'm gonna try to respond to them right now.**

 **ChelJosh: Well, the curses are from me being a 15 year old male. You see why?**

 **Anonynims: This New Mexico aesthetic will be around a bit for the story, as it's only a small part of the plot. It will come in a major factor in the climax of the story.**

 **Dude: Well, your waiting is over.**

 **Guest: And 50 points for guest! Bang Bang!**

 **Guest(v2): It's okay. You'll see this story grow, that's the fun part.**

 **Guest (Sorta): Well, 37.5 points for you. The song is Wonderwall by Oasis. I had garlic bread for dinner that night, so I decided to throw that in. No idea why.**

 **So, let's get into it.**

As the bullet went over River's head, he ran.

"Damn, I always miss the first shot." Rebeldes said, ready to kill.

Moon heard the commotion and got up. She walked towards the hall, when she got tackled by River.

" _We need to run!"_ River said, grabbing the collar of Moon's sweater.

"Why?" Moon asked, _curious._

" _Because of this."_ A bullet went over Moon's head, shooting Star's phone in the process.

"Hey! Who stopped my musi-" She was interrupted by the gun pointed at her family.

"That'd be me, _princess."_

"Stay away from my daughter, you _bastard."_ River said, _grabbing his phone nonchalantly from his pocket._

"I have a gun. I can do whatever I please. In fact.."

He shot River in his right kneecap. Moon stepped in front of Star, and pulled out the wand.

"Magic-" Rebeldes then shot the wand. With his gun. It broke into seven different pieces.

"Bet no one thought of that one." Rebeldes said, then shooting Moon in the _left_ kneecap.

That left Star. A mortified 15 year old. No idea what was going on. She was wondering if this was one of the meth deals she had heard about over the last month, someone named "Heisenberg", but that didn't matter.

"Well, Star. You were the one I was looking forward to." Rebeldes started, walking closer as Star walked backwards. "You see, mental torture is much better than physical. I mean wouldn't you rather die than never to be able to walk again?" Star didn't answer. "Well, here's the deal _princess._ I'm just gonna injure your parents, and you, well, you'll be the mental burden. They'll live with the fact it's their fault their only daughter died. So, any last words?"

Star smirked.

"Don't lead your prey to the front door." She ran out the front door, seeing a car in front of her. Rebeldes opened the front door, firing his gun. He missed like a stormtrooper as Star got into the car, met by a large Mexican man and a small white woman.

"We're friends, Star. Get know what is going on." Rafael said.

Star, with tears in her eyes, got in, trusting anything she heard. The final bullet of Rebeldes's missed the tired by 1 inch, leading Star to freedom.

" _I! Always! Miss! The! Shots! That! Matter!"_

Meanwhile, Moon grabbed the wand for one last spell.

"Magic Reversal."

The wand changed places with some tissues in the back seat, along with a giant book that would come along handily.

Star cried uncontrollably in the back seat as Rebeldes took her parents back to Mewni, ready for what might be their final minutes.

 **Time Skip Quote: It's fucking raw**

Five minutes later, the crying stopped for Star. Angie, who had moved to the back seat, was consoling Star.

" _What just happened? They're gone! Where are we going? I'm hungry! Where are my parents? Who was he? Who are you?"_ Star asked, too much too soon.

Angie grabbed her phone, and opened a video dating back 14 years.

It showed River and Moon sitting on the couch, with baby Star in the back. Star took note of that as the rest of the video played on.

" _Is this thing on?"_ River said. " _Yes dear, now sit down."_ Moon responded, as River sat by her. " _Now Star, as you are watching this video, if you are lucky enough to even BE watching this video, this will be hard to digest."_ Moon started. " _You see Star, we are not from Earth. We are from the Mewni dimension, and at one point, we were royalty. Yes, I know, hard to imagine, me and him, king and queen. But, during our illustrious campaign, we were overthrown."_ It was now River's turn to speak. _"Yes, a very tall mexican man, not the one taking care of you, of course, led our own people against us. He injured us minor, then promised to kill us, even you. And if you are watching this video, he has 2/3 completed his task. We will most likely be dead."_

More tears slowly slid down Star's face, now seemingly face to face with loss.

 _"The people who will take you in are called the Diaz's. They were the first ones to help us, and they are getting their chance to repay us. They are great people and will take you in."_ River continued. Moon then took the floor. _"But you are not done. If you look on the floor of the car, you will see two things. A magic wand- if you don't believe me, watch-"_ Moon formed 6 laser puppies, who immediately jumped out the window. " _And a book, which will detail with you how to use it. It will come with a tutorial, trust me."_ Moon finished, as River then spoke the final words of the video. " _We love you Star."_

The video went black.

"To answer your unanswered questions." Angie started. "We are going to our home in Echo Creek, California. If you're hungry, we'll stop by an IHOP somewhere. I think that's all you asked. Rafael, anything you want to add?" Angie said, looking at her husband.

"Well, as she said, I'm Rafael. I'm the one who got you your house. That is Angie, my wife. You can call us by our first name, or if you like, Mr. and Mrs. Diaz. We will take care of you. No matter what." Silence.

"That's all."

"Well, Star, we already love you. And _I'm so sorry."_ She pulled Star into a hug, who was still silent.

She decided that talking was only needed when necessary. That's how shocked she was.

 **Time Skip Quote: It's fucking raw**

They arrived to Echo Creek after a 12 hour drive, or 8 in the morning. Star woke up as she saw her new home. She still vowed silence as she walked in. She walked in behind the Diaz's.

She heard a frantic voice, seemingly moving around in circles.

" _Where were you guys? You could've told me!"_ The voice, sounding male said. As the Diaz's moved away, she saw another boy her age. He had the complexion of her father, and the body of his mother.

" _He's hot."_ Star accidentally whispered, breaking her silence.

The boy, in the middle of his rant, stopped as soon as he saw the girl's face, which momentarily made him forget his crush.

" _She's hotter than Jackie!"_ He too, found himself whispering.

 **Well, that concludes this chapter. Now, continuing the game.**

 **How did the Diaz's get there without warning. That is worth a whopping 200.**

 **Who made the quote for the time skip? That's 10 points.**

 **I'll see you guys in the next chapter.**

 **GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!**


	5. I'll Get You To Speak

**I'm feeling generous. Two chapters in two days.**

 **I know, I am god.**

 **Now, the reviews.**

 **ChelJosh: That's 10 points for you! Gordon Ramsay.**

 **Mr. Drawer: Thanks! It's people like you that make me want to make 2 chapters in the span of 2 days.**

 **Catalyst56: The text courtesy was right! That was the reason that the phone bit in the last chapter was italicized. 200 points.**

 **XxinfamousxX321: Nice name.**

 **ItaShootingStar: Ha ha, nice answer jackass.**

 **Alright! Let's dive in.**

Star and Marco just stared at eachother for a bit.

"So, uh, Mom, Dad, I have a great question." The boy said.

"Go ahead, son." Rafael said.

"Yes, who is this girl you have brought into our home?" He asked, pointing to Star.

"This is a family friend. She is here because of an emergency in her family. She'll be staying here for a while." Angie answered.

She walked into the living room with Rafael, leaving Star behind, looking around.

"Um, hey." The boy said. Star was a bit surprised by this, as she jumped a bit. "Woah! I'm not going to hurt you." Star stayed silent.

"Alright." The boy said. "What's your name?" Silence.

"Well, that family emergency must've messed you up. My name is Marco. They're my parents, if you didn't guess." Silence.

"So, are you just against talking for right now?"

e.

"I'll take that as a yes. But don't worry, I'll have you talking by the end of the day. Marco Diaz is known for making girls talk (even if it's bad 90% of the time)."

Peace.

"Well, you didn't pack anything, how about I bike you over to the mall to get you some clothes, I'll pay."

Taciturnity.

However, she did nod her head yes.

"Good! I'll go get my wallet and my tandem bike!"

 **Time Skip Quote: She, she screams in silence, a sullen riot penetrating through her mind**

"Here, take this helmet. I don't want any accidents happening." Marco said, giving her a helmet. She put it on, got on the bike, and began to look at her new surroundings.

It was a beautiful place, as about as beautiful Southern Cal could be. Cacti grew about everywhere, green grass in every park, flourishing with people walking their dogs.

And she loved the possible restaurant prospects she could choose from. Everything they didn't have in Albuquerque, they had here in Echo Creek. She knew she'd have her chances.

Before she knew it, they were at the Echo Creek Mall. It had anything that the city didn't have. Food and shop-wise.

"Alright, I'll let you lead the way." He stopped mid-sentence and whispered, " _And get you to talk."_

Star walked into a JCPenney's first, ready to see what choices she had.

 **Time Skip Quote: She, she screams in silence, a sullen riot penetrating through her mind**

There was darkness. That was it. Darkness and the sounds of metal clanging against eachother. There was also silence.

" _Welcome home."_ A Spanish sounding voice said in the dark.

Lights turned on, revealing Moon and River, held up against the wall by two chains.

" _What do you want from us, you bastards?"_ River said, pain in his words.

"Oh. I don't want something from you. _I want to do something to you._ "

"What do you mean by that?" Moon said, determination in her voice.

"I'll tell you what I told your daughter. Physical torture is overrated. I like it mental."

River cringed at this, having no idea what he was talking about.

"You see, I'm not going to kill you until I want to. So, for now, I'm going to hunt down your daughter. Then, I'm going to torture _her._ Then kill her, and you will sit here, yourselves to blame. Then, _you'll get to see her in hell."_

 **Time Skip Quote: She, she screams in silence, a sullen riot penetrating through her mind**

"C'mon! You've been in there for the last 9 paragraphs!" Marco said, running impatient.

Noiselessness was the sound of Star walking out, wearing a different outfit.

It was her typical one you see in the show, what do you fucking expect, me to describe it?

" _She's hotter than before."_ Marco accidentally whispered, then blushed.

Star took a little bit of a notice to this as she quietly laughed.

" _She laughed! See! I can do this!"_

Marco walked up to the counter with Star.

"That will be 150 dollars sir."

Marco passed out.

 **Time Skip Quote: She, she screams in silence, a sullen riot penetrating through her mind**

We are in the kitchen, now it being 6:30 in the afternoon.

"This is the thing that gets everyone talking." Marco said, standing by the oven. "And it'll get you to talk as well."

"These are 12-time USC Trojan Cooking Invitational Champion winning Nachos!"

Star seemed unimpressed, as she did not like nachos.

"Yeah, it's the only reason I'm somewhat relevant at school." Star chuckled slightly at this.

"But trust me! It'll work. 12 straight baby." He took the nachos out of the oven without mits on, screaming in pain as it happened.

The most Star could make out was "ERTYUIOIYUTREDSFGHOPLKJUHYTRDEFGHYIOPOIYUTREWSXCVBJKLOI*UY&T^%REDFHJKLKJHGTFREGTHYJUIOP{:LKJHG."

But.

Uncommunicativeness.

"Dammit." Marco said, taking off the invisible glove he was wearing.

"So, taste the nachos. They should get you to talk."

Star smirked, as if to say, "Good luck with that."

She grabbed one, put it in her mouth, and...

Well, it tasted as if God himself had blessed it with the flavor of the best of foods, all combined with the best of desserts, and making Gordon Ramsay want to hang himself whilst shooting himself in the crotch with a bleach laced bullet.

" _Holy shit."_ Star said aloud, her eyes sparkling as she took the bite.

"HA! I knew I could get you to talk. And hey! It wasn't bad this time!"

Star turned to Marco, and just stared at him for a bit.

"So, can I get your name?" Marco said, a confused look plastered on his face.

Star pulled him into a tight hug, her head crowned upon his shoulder. She looked up for a second and said,

"You're cute."

She walked upstairs, leaving Marco standing there, confused as to what just happened, and why a certain someone named Jackie Lynn Thomas seemed like an afterthought.

 **Well, thanks for letting me make 2 in 2 days.**

 **Don't count on 3 in 3 days, I have school tomorrow and most likely I'll be drafting.**

 **Now.**

 **What song does the time quote come from? That's 150 points.**

 **That's it, thank you all for reading, and I'll see you... in the next chapter. Buh-bye!**


	6. First Day of School

**Don't got nothing to say.**

 **Let's read some reviews:**

 **Guest (Sorta): Well, half the points go to you again. 75.**

 **ChelJosh: Yeah, I got into Green Day in the 6th grade. 75 points to you.**

 **jjmmmmmmlol: I do.**

 **Alright, let's get this started.**

It was dark again. The sound of metal on metal was very prominent, as River and Moon were the only ones in the entire dungeon, as the ones arrested for treason (as in all of them) were released as soon as Rebeldes took control.

The lights came on, revealing Rebeldes holding two trays of gray slop known as food, and a gun in his back pocket. He slid the trays in the "doggy door" and then shot a bullet through the bars.

" _Wake up!"_ He said holding total authority.

This obviously woke both River and Moon up, and they crawled to their trays.

"You know, I like see you crawling like the scum you are. I heard this one before: 'politics'. Derived from two words: 'poly' meaning 'many', and 'tics' meaning 'blood sucking parasites.'"

They didn't laugh, of course, as they were too busy focusing on their "food."

"Geez, tough crowd. Now, let's get down to business with your daughter."

This made both River and Moon shoot up like a firework on the fourth of July.

"You see, I have an army, of course, of Mewmans. However, they are weak. That's why I have my army of monsters. They'll find your daughter. Eventually. And when they do, consider her well as dead."

"You-" River started, but didn't finish.

Rebeldes shot right at River's feet.

" _Shut the fuck up._ We start looking now. _Yvgeny!"_

 **Time Skip Quote: He was in the backseat of his car, which is why he couldn't see his steering wheel.**

"Alright, we have everything set up, meaning you just follow Marco."

Mrs. Diaz had made sure Star and Marco had all classes together so no extra confusion could take place.

"Alright! Thank you, Mrs. Diaz!" Star responded thankfully.

"You're welcome, hun." Mrs. Diaz responded. "Now get on the bike, you need to get going."

Star ran through the front door, meeting Marco at the bike.

"Hey, we're 5 minutes off schedule. We'll be lucky if we get there with 2 minutes to spare, so bike fast."

She nodded and got on the bike.

They started pedaling, and after 30 seconds, Marco started asking questions.

"So, you just called me cute and went upstairs. That isn't exactly a name. So what is your name?"

"Star. Star Butterfly."

"Alright, that's a start, now, what happened exactly?"

Star stopped pedaling, causing Marco to hesitate a bit.

"My bad."

"No, it's alright, it's just that I'm not comfortable talking about it yet. Hell, I don't fully understand what happened."

"Damn. Must be tough."

"Yeah." Star looked down and started pedaling again.

10 minutes later, they were there.

"Ah shit, we got 1 minute. Better hurry.

 **First Period**

"Ah, the cornerstone of any non-curricular setup, World History." Marco said, trying to amp it up for Star.

"Yeah, it's mostly boring."

"So, continuing on the Industrial Revolution, can anyone tell me any of the important things that came out of this?"

Star raised her hand half a second before Marco.

"Louis Pasteur's Vaccine, Alfred Nobel, the namesake of the Nobel Peace Prize I love to add, and Alexander Graham Bell making the telephone."

Marco was a bit surprised, but Mr. Watson, their teacher, was delighted.

"Well, this class isn't going to be so boring after all. And yes, those were actually the three things I was looking for." His voiced drowned out as Star looked over at Marco.

" _Whatever you think you can do, I can do better, Diaz."_ She whispered sarcastically, followed by a toothy grin.

" _Whatever."_

 **Second Period**

"Well, you're stuck with my electives. So, we go to speech."

Mrs. Sweet started the class off.

"Alright, here's somewhat of a challenge. I need you to write a speech for me in the next 30 minutes. The other 30 minutes will be presenting. Begin now."

" _This'll be easy. I'll write it on how putting the milk in before the cereal is communist."_ Marco thought to himself.

"And that's why putting the milk in before the cereal is communist."

"Good job Marco. You always are able to make a dull argument interesting. The way you speak is just so... amazing for someone your age. Alright! Who wants to go next?" Mrs. Sweet said.

Star raised her hand very quick.

"Alright, Star! Make a good first impression."

Star walked up with her paper.

"This is a paper I turned in for my last school. I decided to re-write it and submit it in, if it counts, Mrs. Sweet." Star looked at Mrs. Sweet, who nodded in approval.

"Alright. So, let's direct our attention towards a band everyone hates for no reason: Coldplay. I don't know why everyone hates them, especially their 2008 single, 'Viva la Vida'. Many believed it was about the French Revolution, but I believe it was about the Last Supper, and the events leading to Jesus's Crucifixion."

She went on about specific lyrics, how Saint Peter denied Jesus, and how somehow meaningless lyrics meant giant gestures.

"And, while people talk French Revolution, I talk Jesus." Star finished.

"Well Star," Mrs. Sweet said, "I think I'd like to see a debate between you and Marco."

" _Whatever you think you can do, I can do better, Diaz."_ She whispered, this time sticking out her tongue. Marco did the same.

 **Third Period**

"The most boring class. Health."

You really don't need to read this. This is boring. You see, I base this off my own high school schedule, and, well, that class is boring.

 **Fourth Period**

"Now this, I know you can't beat me in. I can do just about everything. Geometry."

"It's just shapes, Marco."

"It's more complicated than that!"

"Well, today we're doing our test. Star-" Mrs. Johnson asked.

"Trust me- I've got it." Star said, slurring the "I've got it", leaning back in her chair.

The test took around 20 minutes. For Marco, that is. It took Star 10.

Then it was time for lunch.

They sat alone at a table, as Marco wanted to get acquainted with Star.

"So, why are you so interested in bringing me down?" Asked Marco, seeming deflated.

"I just wanna piss you off a bit." Star said, laughing sarcastically.

"Well I don't like it."

"You're supposed to?"

"Alright!" Marco said, frustrated. "So, what do you think happened with you."

For safe measure, he grabbed a box of tissues.

"Well, it started yesterday, ironically enough."

 **Time Skip Quote: He was in the backseat of his car, which is why he couldn't see his steering wheel.**

 **"** _We're in the living room, watching Hell's Kitchen, as we usually do. We missed last week's episode and we were catching up on Hulu. There was a knock at the door, and my dad got it. I plugged in my headphones and started listening to my music, and I hear nothing. Next thing I know, I my phone explodes. I was confused, until I looked up, face to face to a 6'5" Mexican with a gun._

 _"He kept talking about torture. I remember some words clearly."_

 _"_ I think mental torture is much better than physical."

" _To make a long story short, he was going to kill me in order to torture my parents. However, the dumbass led me straight to the door."_

"Any last words?" _He asked, not noticing the front door behind me._

 _"_ Don't lead your prey to the front door _."_

 _"I ran away, and into the first car I saw, which was your parents'. They took me here, and here I stand."_

 **Time Skip Quote: He was in the backseat of his car, which is why he couldn't see his steering wheel.**

"Well, does that answer any questions?"

Marco was using the same box of tissues he was going to use for Star.

"I UndErstAnd." He said, shakily.

 **Fifth Period**

"Well, P.E. is just basketball. However, it does allow me to make some moves."

"What, are you halfway decent?"

"No, I suck! It's just that my crush, a heavenly creature known as Jackie Lynn Thomas is in this class!"

"Why do you say her middle name?"

"Her name is Jackie Lynn."

"But there's no dash. So is it her middle name or not?"

"Shut up."

The teacher, Ms. Bunson, took role and threw out the basketballs. Marco went to walking as Star started shooting.

Star watched from afar as he tried to talk to Jackie.

" _You know, they'd make a cute couple."_

She shot again, this time making it off of the glass.

" _But Starco is cuter."_

Marco eventually got drowned out by Jackie's other friends, and quit. He then joined Star to play basketball.

"I saw what happened." Star said.

"Happens everyday. Get used to it." Marco said unenthusiastically.

Star kept shooting away, making 8 out of every 10 baskets.

"Hey, can I shoot?" Marco asked, discouraged.

"Sure."

He got the ball, and just shot normally, but with a change. He hadn't shot in a month, but for whatever reason, the shot went in.

"What?" Both him and Star said at the same time.

"Play me in a 3 point shootout. Now." Star demanded, wanting to beat him.

To make a long story short.

Star makes her last shot. Wins.

" _Whatever you think you can do? I can do better."_ Star said, this time blowing a kiss.

 **Sixth Period**

"God, this is the boring period. I always sleep."

"Let's sleep then."

"I love that idea."

Marco fell asleep around 20 minutes into class. Mr. Martin did not notice for the most part.

Star fell asleep around the same time.

Marco had the most peculiar dream.

It just jumped him in, to him and Star slow dancing, casual clothes, in a casual location. It then jump cut to him and Star just cuddling in bed.

He accepted it.

"Mr. Diaz! Ms. Butterfly!"

They both darted up, causing some commotion from other students.

"Is this a joint effort?"

 **Seventh Period**

"Well, you got us off with no detention, don't know how you did it."

"Yeah, the author doesn't either."

Marco just stood there confused.

It was English, and Mrs. Hipkins was in the middle of _To Kill A Mockingbird._

They both sat and watched the time tick by.

And it was done. The first day of school together, done.

They didn't know this would be so significant in eachother's lives.

 **Time Skip Quote: He was in the backseat of his car, which is why he couldn't see his steering wheel.**

"Rebeldes!" A thick Russian accent responded.

"Yes, Yvgeny!" Rebeldes responded.

"I have a new employee." Yvgeny responded.

"Oh, who is it?" Rebeldes responded. However, he didn't get a response, as he heard a Tom Rider-esque voice.

"Hey! For a guy, you clean up nice. The name's Tom."

 **That was long. I needed a long chapter to clear some things up.**

 **2000 points for whoever can get the time skip quote. No half credit, you have to get it. If you google it, I will know.**

 **Alright! Thanks for reading.**

 **I'm off to disprove Newtonian physics. Buh-bye!**


	7. Not Enough Words For A Title

**Dayum, it's been awhile. I had to plan out the plot a bit.**

 **Let's read some reviews.**

 **ChelJosh: No, the quote is not that. Great guess.**

 **XxinfamousxX321: Well, I guess I never lived.**

 **Unknown: it's what I do best!**

 **jmmmmmlol: C'mon, use your head.**

 **Anonymins: I haven't watched Stranger Things yet, I'll attempt to get into it.**

 **Continued from Anonymins: You'll be a bit fucked up, I guess.**

 **Guest Sorta: Best guess so far, on a correctness level.**

 **ItaShootingStar: I didn't see the promo for Goblin Dogs at the time.**

 **ItaShootingStar (Again): Good luck.**

 **The quote was from "Slaughterhouse Five" by Kurt Vonnegut. Main character Billy Pilgrim gets drunk, gets in his car, and realizes that someone stole his steering wheel. He wakes up the next day to realize he was in his backseat.**

 **Let's get in.**

"Okay, who the _infierno_ are you?" Rebeldes said.

"Didn't I say? I'm Tom." Tom responded.

Rebeldes didn't like his answer, and he pointed the gun at Tom.

"Who. Are. You?" Rebeldes said, with an itchy trigger finger.

"Geez. I'll explain. I'm Tom! The prince of the underworld. And, I hear you have a problem with a certain royal family."

"Well, that is true. But, why do want to help?"

Tom didn't answer, and he walked over to the bars, smirking at the former king and queen.

"My parents were fond of Leo and Aries. It was prospering. We were allies. Then you came in. You ruined Mewni, and ruined the ties. I will find pleasure in killing your daughter."

Fear struck their eyes.

 **Time Skip Quote: We Will Be Seen But Not Be Heard**

Life became normal together for Star and Marco. Soon, they would be talking to eachother about their own personal drama.

But for now, they just became friends.

It was the night of the first day of school. Dinner was porkchops, and Star and Marco were striking up conversation while the parents stayed quiet.

"Well, M. Night Shyamalan has made some good films." Marco argued.

"Yeah, and they are decent at best. Meanwhile the bad could be categorized as some of the worst disgraces in the history of cinema. Have you even seen _The Happening?"_

"No, not yet-"

Star covered his mouth with her hand before he could speak.

"We watch tonight."

Marco forcefully removed the hand.

"But it's a school night. I don't want to miss any-"

"Do you wanna be called lame?"

 **We Will Be Seen But Not Be Heard**

Rebeldes and Tom were walking down the hall, side by side.

"So how do you plan about?" Rebeldes started.

"Plan about what?"

"About getting Star Butterfly. I don't know her whereabouts. The only way I found out about the Albuquerque establishment was-"

 **We Will Be Seen But Not Be Heard**

Rebeldes was munching popcorn while watching TV.

"No one told me human TV was so good!" He said, still munching on the popcorn.

During the ads, a certain ad popped up.

" _I'm River-"_

 _"And I'm Moon-"_

 _"And together, we are-_ _ **THE INTER-DIMENSIONAL MATTRESS KINGDOM!**_ "

"Oh."

 **We Will Be Seen But Not Be Heard**

"interesting." He finished.

"Well, I know some people." He turned on his cellphone and pressed "1" on speed dial.

"Hey, Gazorpazorp, can you come down?"

In five seconds, a creature made up of pure shadow appeared.

"Yeah, can you turn into that Mr. Candle character you made up?"

Gazorpazorp did as master told, and he turned into a school counselor with a ponytail.

"So, how does that make you feel?"

 **We Will Be Seen But Not Be Heard**

It was 10:36, and the end of The Happening was near.

"Wow, you're right, Star. This movie sucks major ass."

"Told you, Diaz. I'm always smarter than you."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't, you're heads over heels, and it's happening slowly. You love me."

Star walked upstairs to her room, leaving Marco alone with his thoughts.

It reminds me of what happened to me, long ago.

 **We Will Be Seen But Not Be Heard**

"So Buff Frog-" Tom started, to be interrupted.

"Buff Frog? I thought your name was Yvgeny." Rebeldes stated.

"I usually go by Buff Frog. But Yvgeny is real name. You can call me either."

"Alright Yvgeny."

"AHEM! I was saying something!" Tom yelled.

"Go ahead." Rebeldes said.

"So Buff Frog- how do we plan on finding Star Butterfly?" Tom asked.

"Is simple. The United States- which is the whereabouts of Star Butterfly- has 50 states. We send this 'Mr. Candle' to all fifty states. He finds Star Butterfly. We start from east coast, move to west coast." Rebeldes interrupted.

"Why start at the east coast if she was last at the west coast?"

"Patience is key. She could be anywhere."

But that wasn't the real reason.

 **We Will Be Seen But Not Be Heard**

It was dark, but no dungeon. It was dimly light, a few candles strategically places for optimal light.

In came Buff Frog.

"Master!" He yelled.

"Yes?" Said a familiar voice.

"The plan is working perfect." Buff Frog said, looking up to a very high chair.

It spun around, revealing a 1 and a half foot behemoth, named Ludo.

"The war shall be ours." Ludo said, a smile slowly forming.

 **We Will Be Seen But Not Be Heard**

 **Well, that's it. I might update again tomorrow.**

 **This chapter was for the advancement of Mewni. The Starco fluff was so that Star and Marco would at least make an appearance.**

 **What is the quote from?**

 **What war is Ludo talking about, and what are his motives?**

 **Will we get a narrative on how Marco feels about Jackie, and how he feels Star is somewhat ruining his life?**

 **Will we get to see Toffee?**

 **These questions will be answered next chapter.**

 **Buh-bye.**


	8. How Both Sides Made Progress

**Hello. Am normal.**

 **Let's read reviews.**

 **Anonymims: I live mystery. And Robinson's Protein Shakes.**

 **jjmmmmmmlol: Questions lead to answers and answers lead to development.**

 **theRevil: Holy shit. Best review I've ever received. Points. I can turn down cursing, but it will be a part of me, I was raised by sailormouths and I'm a freshman in highschool, and well, we all love to curse. I see the pacing problem. The way I wrote Star is the way I was after one of my own tragedies. Back in January, my house burnt down and I had to sorta rely on my sarcastic attitude to stay halfway alive. I want to write Star and Marco as my own characters for whatever reason. Having a blank template is better than doing one already given to me. The intelligence rivalry is also based on my real-life experiences. Also, love the story you have written. Anyone reading it should check it out, it's called "The Lives We Lead." It's a yeet/10.**

 **Guest Sorta: Well, that's M. Night's only good movie. After that it turned to shit.**

 **Laughingseal19: All of your reviews made me laugh.**

 **Let's dive in.**

 **Also, the quote is from Green Day's Revolution Radio.**

The dark chains they were home to became normal on day 3. The sound of metal on metal was also great.

Disregard the exposition. Today is step one in taking control over this man.

Rebeldes walked to the chains, holding their "food."

"I'm not eating." River said.

"Me neither." Moon also said.

They threw their trays at the wall.

"Greaaatt." Rebeldes pulled out his gun quickly. "I'm not going to kill you, so you shouldn't do the same. However, I can shoot you in the kneecaps if you want."

"Eh, don't need 'em anyways." River said, relaxed.

Rebeldes shot him in the knee, followed by about 37 minutes of wailing and pain from River.

"Yeah, good luck starving asshole. The food is the only thing you've got."

Rebeldes walked away, back to his human television.

"Yeah, good question, how are we going to eat?" Moon asked, a bit regretful of the plan.

River, still in pain, pulled Reese's peanut butter cups out of his beard.

 **Fourth-wall breaking time-skip**

"I'm telling you, they want to be killed." Rebeldes said to his therapist.

"What's the problem with killing them?" Said Gazorpazorp, now in the form of Mr. Candle.

"It's my plan. I've gone by plans my entire life. Hell, even my relationships go by strict plans."

"So, what's the problem with changing the plan? Killing them won't really affect it, will it? I mean, after killing their daughter, what are you going to do to them? Death is inevitable. Either they die of old age, or you kill them."

"It just angers me, being wrong."

"Well then," Mr. Candle said, "you must be mad all the time."

Mr. Candle walked out the door.

"I'm off to Maine. It the most east state."

And he went out the window.

Rebeldes would spend the rest of the day wondering if killing them really was the easiest route.

 **Fourth-wall breaking time-skip**

"So they're just now getting to Maine?" Ludo asked Buff Frog.

"Yes sir, and if it's a state a day as I estimate, it should be about 30-40 more days until they actually find Star Butterfly."

"South Carolina, right?"

"No sir, South California."

"Yes, that's right."

Ludo turned around, looking at his mirror.

"Mom."

 **Fourth-wall breaking time-skip**

Backstories are usually key.

Self-contradicting ones are also the same.

It dated back around 25 years. The Butterfly's raged war on the other bordering monarchies, such as the one Ludo's mother ran.

It was the first war. The Queen was persistent on her intent to run. At this time, Ludo was a struggling middle-school student, an awkward shell of his parents. All the stress fell on him.

As the war went on, many hiding spots were used by Ludo, as his house was gone in a heartbeat. From trees where he saw all the action, to hobbitholes that served as Kurt Vonnegut bomb chambers.

But it was the 35th day of the war that matters went into his own hands.

He was hiding in the corn fields, as Mewni at this point decided not to protect them yet.

He was watching his mother in battle, easily defeating most Mewmans in her way.

However, war is war, and war is unpredictable.

A country-bumpkin idiot shot her straight in the head with a crossbow.

So it goes.

Ludo's father was the first casualty, leading to many Mewmans to believe they won.

Ludo became in charge.

Much like Ismail of the Ottoman empire, he was a surprisingly strong leader.

Much like Ismail of the Ottoman empire, he led the remaining 1,000 troops to victory against the 15,000 Mewmans.

The Butterfly's were shocked.

What they did afterwards however, was the most shocking.

I described them as horrible leaders. But when it came to defeat, they took it beautifully. It was the shining light in an outhouse.

They said they would leave Ludo alone, and, would pay him, the new leader of his people, handsomely, and they would work as allies, the only allies. Ludo could refuse anytime, the result of the death of his mother. He could've had them killed any time he wanted.

He respected them, despite that assassination. It was what his mother would have wanted. She was a peaceful lady. And he wanted to be the same (excluding the gender, of course).

So he actively regrets his oversleeping of Rebeldes' takeover.

And he wants his revenge.

 **Fourth-wall breaking time-skip**

"Perfect." Ludo said, turning back around. "Another double-agent is coming soon. You'll see him."

Silence took over the room.

"We make our first move in a week, when we meet Star Butterfly in South Connecticut."

"California."

"Yes."

 **Fourth-wall breaking time-skip**

Marco has troubles when he sleeps. When he sleeps, his thoughts seem to drift negatively, trying to make him mad so something catastrophic could happen.

Today was one of those days.

This time, it was about Jackie.

Marco had been looking at Jackie for some time. And yes, you know what "some time" means.

So, obviously, when Star came in and took his breath away, he was at first mad at himself.

"C'mon man, get yourself in gear!" He'd yell at himself in the mirror for a couple of nights. "You've liked Jackie since kindergarten, and you're over here drooling over a girl that you've seen for a combined 37 minutes?"

He tried to snap out of it, but it's hard trying to completely ignore someone that you lived with, you know?

Then Star hit him with what Marco could only call "gay shit."

Heck, the first thing she ever said to him was "you're cute."

It's like she was trying to make him fall in love with her.

And he definitely did not like her back.

Right?

 **Fourth-wall breaking time-skip**

Marco came up with a very bad solution.

Don't talk to her.

Little did he know that would make it worse.

Marco skipped breakfast, and rode his bike to school contrary to the bus, just so he could avoid her.

But it's hard to ignore someone when you see them all day.

 **Fourth-wall breaking time-skip**

"I miss home. I'd play Wii U all the time with my friends-"

It was impossible to ignore this girl.

"Hey, why aren't you talking?"

Marco put his head down, trying his best to ignore her.

"C'mon, it's not healthy to keep your emotions bottled up like this. Don't you pay attention in health class?"

"I'll tell you later." He mumbled.

"Alright."

 **Fourth-wall breaking time-skip**

It was second period, and it was the only period where Star and Marco where completely isolated.

Also, this was the only class where Marco could have direct contact with Jackie Lynn Thomas. In P.E, she would want to talk to other friends she didn't have classes with, leaving Marco essentially in the dust.

He sat in the middle of Janna and Jackie, and would often ramble on about his boring life.

"Well, I'm close to Green Belt, so..." Marco said, trying to be impressive.

"Oh. Nice Marco. I guess." Jackie said, looking down, uninterested.

" _ohmygodjustkillyourselfdiaz."_ He thought to himself.

Silence took over the table after one line of conversation, an art Marco had perfected over the years.

But then, in an act of a miracle, Jackie started up conversation.

"So how's life with that Star girl?"

"Oh. You spoke."

Marco realized his mistake.

"Oh, my bad. Well, it's... eventful."

 **Fourth-wall breaking time-skip**

Yvgeny reported back to work, where he would meet the new recruit.

Rebeldes stood at his makeshift podium in the dungeons, and called for order.

"Attention, all.." he counted all the people in the room, "one of you."

Insert some cricket noises.

"Yeah, I'm pretty lonely. BUT! The point of this was to announce LESS loneliness! Introducing our new recruit- Toffee- uhh.."

Toffee appeared from behind a curtain.

"I don't do last names."

"Alright! Toffee!"

River and Moon spat at his feet, River still clutching his knee.

Rebeldes turned around and pointed the trigger at Moon's head.

"I will blow your brains out, keep going. And remember-" He started walking the other way- "ladies are first."

 **Fourth-wall breaking time-skip**

Yvgeny waited for Rebeldes to go back to his human television (which, was Rebeldes' only form of entertainment on Mewni, besides seeing the desperation of the former king and queen) and caught up with the new recruit.

"Hey. Toffee." Buff Frog said, tapping his shoulder.

"Yes?"

"Are you familiar to the plan?"

"Huh." Toffee said, seemingly humored.

"What is problem?" Buff Frog asked.

"Ludo told me you were more secretive. But, here you are, talking about 'the plan.' Don't you think that could be incriminating?"

"Not like anyone would walk in on-"

Tom walked in.

"Hey, I'm Tom. I don't do last names either." He said, shaking Toffee's hand.

Toffee winked at Buff Frog.

This was going to be hard, working with him.

Well, for the time being.

 **Fourth-wall breaking time-skip**

"It reminds me of a joke I made a while ago." Marco said confidently to Jackie.

"What is it?" Jackie said laughing.

"Well, if I had $1,000,000 dollars, I'd but sex with your mom. Then, with the remaining $999,990 dollars I'd invest it into a nice company- $10 dollar for sex with your mom!" He said, pointing fingers out like guns and cheesily putting on sunglasses.

Jackie burst out laughing, falling out of her seat.

"I'm alright."

Janna butted in and brought back a bit of awkwardness.

"Y'all should date."

 **Fourth-wall breaking time-skip**

Star was writing in her journal, next to someone who, after just three days of her being in this school, would never tell anyone her name anymore and be insisted to be called "Starfan13."

"Chapter 12: Richard"

 **Fourth-wall breaking POV-transition**

You know, I've never been in love with anyone before, so maybe I'm just inexperienced, but is this Richard guy better than Marco?

I can't really put my finger on it. It's probably his hair. His jokes are just a little bit better, and he's pretty smart for someone of his background.

It seems as if all thoughts of Marco just dissapeared as soon as I saw him.

As I said, maybe I'm inexperienced, but I'm gonna ask him out. See how things work out.

I'll continue on this chapter later.

 **Fourth-wall breaking POV-transition**

"What?" Jackie said.

"Well, I see it in your eyes. You think he's cute and funny." Janna said, trying to prove her point.

Jackie blushed.

"And Marco, every knows you've been thinking that since kindergarten."

Marco blushed.

"Don't you two think that's how it works? Two people who view eachother positively? A relationship?"

They both blushed.

 **Fourth-wall breaking time-skip**

"So, are we dating now?" Jackie asked, confused by the last five minutes that I can't recall because it went faster than the speed of light.

"I guess so."

 **Fourth-wall breaking ending**

 **Well, after about two days of editing and revising this, it's finally out.**

 **Tell me what you think.**

 **No points to be given out this time.**

 **See ya later!**


	9. The First Meeting

**I decided I was gracious enough to give you the privilege of having 2 chapters in 3 days.**

 **Great! Let's get into reviews.**

 **Laughingseal19: Yeah, that's how I got my 3rd.**

 **theRevil: Yeah, canon isn't my thing. I'm here to improve my writing, and to cope with things in my life that haven't gone well, which happens to be the reason I write. Slaughter-House Five was great, just finished it, and it was great. Hands down the best novel I've ever read. Yeah, I'll give shoutouts to what I think is good. And your stuff is good. Time skips have been my thing for a while now, and yours are great too. I like my touch with the "guess the quote" game.**

 **Guest (Sorta): Give it time.**

 **Guest: Well. Dickhead fuckface cocksmoking motherfucker asshole dirty twat waste of semen. That's all I have.**

 **Let's get it going**

Well, one day later and I totally forgot to log on to my diary and tell you what happened.

Richard said yes. He was rather excited, and said I was cute.

Today was a good day.

I'll see if Marco is out of his tantrum yet.

 **Time/POV Skip Quote: Say Goodbye To The Ones That You Love**

"Marco?"

No answer.

"Marco?"

No answer.

"MARCO DIAZ!"

"Huh?"

Marco had had his earbuds in, listening to his new band's new dropped album. He wanted a physical copy, but it wasn't at the Walmart in town yet, so he listened to it on YouTube.

"Yeah Star?" He said, feeling a bit guilty that he just ignored him.

"First off, how was your day, second off, why did you ignore throughout it?" She asked.

"Well, you see what had happen was-"

"Well, you are my only friend so far, well, besides the new one-"

"What new friend?" Marco asked.

"His name is Richard and we are now dating."

Marco felt kind of jealous, and for two reasons: one, it was RICHARD who got Star, and two, she got a boyfriend two days into the school system, and he got his girlfriend 3,652 days in. BUT- he had his girlfriend so-

"Well, I'm happy for you! Watch out for Richard though, he is- not a good human. However, I have some similar news as well."

"And that is?" Star asked.

"Me and Jackie are now a thing."

Star was taken aback by this- by her calculations there was no way that Jackie was even CLOSE to being interested in him.

But love is always blind.

"Well, good for you! I'll try to assort some kind of get together soon, that should be fun." Star responded.

"Well, I'll see you for dinner, Star." Marco said, putting his earbuds back in before-

"So what about you ignoring me?"

"You see what had happen was..."

 **Say Goodbye To The Ones That You Love**

Rebeldes walked down the hall to the conference room with Toffee and Tom, talking about various things.

"You know in America, they have this thing called football, where-" Rebeldes started.

"Yes, I know what it is. Rather primitive." Toffee responded in his monotone voice.

"It is not primitive! It is exciting, involves strategy, it's..." Rebeldes defended.

"Of course, the person who uses extreme violence to overthrow monarchies LOVES football." Toffee said.

"So how do you go about it?"

"I just bribed them."

 **Say Goodbye To The Ones That You Love**

The three took control of the conference room.

"So- Tom, where is Mr. Candle right now? He's skipping on my therapy sessions." Rebeldes started.

"Well, he needs to finish his work in New Hampshire, and he should be here, by let's say," Tom looked at his watch, "3:45." Tom answered.

"He SHOULD be. Toffee, since I got you for death, how do we plan to kill Star Butterfly so far?" Rebeldes asked Toffee, only for Tom to answer.

"I thought _I_ would be the one to kill Star Butterfly."

Rebeldes floppily pulled his gun out at Tom. "Shut the _fuck_ up."

Tom just laid back in his chair.

"How about we just throw her off a cliff? Why should it be elaborate?" Toffee asked.

"Because it's supposed to mentally scar the other two! Don't either of you know what you're doing?" Rebeldes sighed. He walked towards the door after this.

"I'm gonna go feed the other two. I'll be right back." With that Rebeldes left.

"So, Toffee, why are you here?" Tom asked.

"Well, my plan is to reinforce power in Mewni. My role is to decide how to kill Star Butterfly, as I am a rather cunning executioner." Toffee replied.

"That's cool."

"So it is."

Buff Frog busted through the door, hyperventilating.

"Sorry I am late. I brought donuts!" He said, gasping for air.

He looked up, only to see that Rebeldes was not there.

"Oh."

He fell on his knees.

"I need sleep."

Toffee looked at his state.

"Tom, can you please exit the room?" He asked politely.

"Do I have to?"

"There are 12 different ways for me to kill you, in this room, right now."

"Don't have to tell me twice."

 **Say Goodbye To The Ones That You Love**

"I didn't really get a chance to introduce myself. I'm Toffee. As you know, I don't do last names. I already know who you are, didn't have to do much research." Toffee started.

"Ludo always hired the weirdos. Well, so why were you hired by Ludo?" He asked.

"I'm his conditioner really. My goal is to help out in conditioning him and Star Butterfly." Toffee answered.

"Why does Star Butterfly need conditioning?" Buff Frog asked.

"You'll see in a week." Toffee replied, only to be interrupted by Rebeldes walking in with Tom.

"Goddammit! I'm gonna kill them if I don't get my therapy!" Rebeldes said, referring to the old king and queen.

"It's about some Reese's Peanutbutter Cups. And I thought I was the angry one. "

 **Say Goodbye To The Ones That You Love**

It was a calm Sunday in the Diaz house. Marco was busy texting Jackie, Star was busy texting Richard. In about a week, they'd both be going over to Diaz house for dinner, but that is unrelated at the moment.

A ring on the doorbell was all it took for the day to take a different turn.

"I'll get the door!" Mr. Diaz said energetically.

However, he wasn't prepared for a two-foot bird humanoid, a giant frog humanoid, and a crocodile type person with long hair.

So he collapsed right then and there.

 **Say Goodbye To The Ones That You Love**

Mr. Diaz woke up next to his wife on the couch.

"Sorry about that Mr. Diaz, we should've told you we were coming. I'm Toffee." Toffee started.

"I still don't know who you are." Mr. Diaz said.

"We're here to elicit the help of Star Butterfly to recapture Mewni." Ludo said, hoping the truth would be the best option.

Mrs. Diaz looked at her husband, and back up.

"I think she'd enjoy that. She's upstairs."

"Thank you." Ludo said, walking up the stairs.

 **Say Goodbye To The Ones That You Love**

"AFKJDSGHFKJLDSFHKSJDFHKLDSJFHKLDSJHGFKJLDGSHFKJDGSHFKJDGS" Star said.

"I told you we should've told them we were coming." Toffee said.

"CALM DOWN WILL YOU! WE KNOW YOUR PARENTS AND WHERE THEY ARE!" Ludo yelled.

That stopped Star.

"Proceed." She said.

"They are being held by the person who tried to kill you. We are trying to recapture them, or if anything bad happens, Mewni. We need your help." Ludo started.

"How am I supposed to be of any help?" Star asked.

"Have you tried using the wand yet?" Toffee asked.

"What wand?" Star responded.

"As I expected." Ludo said. "Buff Frog! Look around for the wand, the book, and that blue gremlin of hers. We have some training to do."

Buff Frog left without saying.

About thirty seconds of silence and investigating the room later, Marco walked in, and like father like son, passed out on the spot.

 **Say Goodbye To The Ones That You Love**

 **Well, that's it for this chapter. 50 points to whoever can identify the song in the quote, and 25 points to whoever can name a band that dropped an album last Friday.**

 **See ya next chapter.**


	10. Glossaryck

**Welcome back!**

 **The quote was from Green Day's new album,** ** _Revolution Radio,_** **which was also the answer to the other question. No one got it.**

 **Let's get into the reviews.**

 **All two of them.**

 **theRevil: the movie trailer thing is probably because I introduce new characters at the end of chapters most of the time. And the Rolling Stones was a good guess. Btw, you'll get to eat tonight, so I hope you enjoy.**

 **Guest (Sorta): Comedic effect buddy. Comedic effect.**

 **Btw, today during school I made the basic outline for the rest of this story and two other stories, which will be like a Simon Pegg trilogy.**

 **Points to whoever knows who Simon Pegg is.**

 **Let's dive in.**

After about 30 minutes of searching for the book, they found it in the attic, along with the wand.

Ludo handed it to Star, changing shape between the two.

"What is this?" Star asked, confused about the wand.

"Your parents didn't leave you anything about the wand?" Ludo asked.

"No- and I want to know what it is." Star responded.

"Well, I don't know how to explain it, really, but-"

Toffee interrupted.

"The wand is meant for magical spells. The user of the wand can either make up their own spell or recite perfected spells that are written down in the Magic Instruction Book." He pointed to the book placed behind him.

"In other cases, the user can operate the wand without saying any spells. The wand can also make anything you desire appear, like a puppy for example. It can also be used to create attacks, which is what we're about to do. Got it?" Toffee finally finished.

Everyone in the room looked a bit dumbfounded.

"Can you repeat that, except in English?" Star asked.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

After about 15 minutes of teaching Star about the wand, it was finally time for them to start teaching her how to use it.

They opened the book, which was followed by a cloud of dust, and a figure appearing.

However, the figure was sleeping.

"Hello?" Star said.

"Ohmygodwhogoesthere?" The figure said.

"My name is Star- St-" Star was interrupted.

"Butterfly! I remember you know! You were my bosses' only child- I was to train you- but I think I overslept. I think it's been the lesser-half of- 15 years?" The figure, named Glossaryck, said.

"Yeah. Some stuff happened." Star replied.

"Like what? Why didn't they wake me up?" He asked.

"Well, we think they might be dead."

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"So, you escaped, and now you want to reclaim the throne, and you need to learn how to use the wand?" Glossaryck asked.

"Yup." Star answered.

"Well, that's how I got a paycheck, so I'm in! When do we start?" He asked.

"Now." Ludo said. "Glossaryck, you teach Star. I'll over-watch. Toffee, you teach the karate boy."

"What?" Marco asked.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

They were in the Diaz's backyard.

"Hello, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Toffee."

"Toffee-?"

"I don't do last names. Now, I heard you are a red belt in karate?"

"Yes."

"Prove it. Meet me in combat."

"Again. what?" Marco asked.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"Well, I'm a bit rusty, and since we go to battle-?"

"Three days." Ludo said.

"Three days, I can only teach you about five spells. But, these come in handy. Narwhal blast, Warnicorn stampede, rainbow fist punch, jellybean hallucination mist, and finally, the most powerful one, Spider in a top hat blast." Glossaryck finished.

"How does a spider with a top hat have the most power?" Star asked.

"You'll see. But let's dive in, shall we?"

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

Toffee handily defeated Marco, but only leaving him with bruises so that he could still fight.

"Well, you may think that went bad, but you lasted 3.9765231 seconds before giving up, which is the best I've seen. I'm surprised your only a red belt. Now, I'm going to teach you some new moves." Toffee said, starting to demonstrate the moves.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"Now stand like this." Glossaryck said.

"That's a bit much, don't you think?" Star said.

"Do you want your parents back or not?"

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"You lasted 5.234235 seconds. You're getting better. Remember to keep your left foot planted, it really helps out." Toffee advised.

Marco nodded.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"Now, your right foot is planted just a bit wrong- you need to stand like this-" Glossaryck stood like Arnold Schwarzenegger on a beach, "with your feet aligned 88-92 degrees. None of that 'exactly 90 degrees' bullshit, just be close to 90."

"How do I know what 90 degrees looks like?" Star asked.

"Do you pay attention in math?" Glossaryck asked.

"No, not really." Star responded sarcastically.

" _That's beside the point!"_ Glossaryck yelled.

"Quit squabbling and get to fighting, you dulces." Ludo said calmly.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"You keep getting better. You see, this is why he hired me. Everyone I've mentored have gone on to be almost as successful as me." Toffee said, proud.

"I wouldn't like to talk right now." Marco said, a death stare plastered on Toffee.

"Good. You've learned well."

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"Now, you have the first two spells, now let's see if you can get the other two easy ones out of the way, and then show you the hardest and most powerful spell." Glossaryck said.

"Is it as tedious? As the other two?" Star asked.

"No, but the last one is about 26.79 times as hard as all other four multiplied together." Glossaryck answered.

"AUGHHHHHGGHUGHGU"

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

Marco and Toffee were done with the lessons, and now Marco is as strong as four black belts.

Jeremy Birnbaum was gonna get it.

But for now, whoever messed with Star was gonna get it. Despite knowing her for only 8 days, she was his friend. No one messes with his friends.

Marco and Toffee were sitting on two chairs in the porch, just talking.

"So- are you and Ms. Butterfly in there a thing?" Toffee asked.

Marco laughed. "No, but everyone is asking. Both of us have our own." Marco answered.

"Oh, really? I really would have thought-" Toffee was interrupted by Marco.

"You are literally going by a script, a typecast for every one of my friends and other students." Marco continued laughing.

Toffee looked down, but with an unemotional face, not one concerning, just a regular emotion, and thought:

" _I've been in love. I see it now, with both of them. How they treat eachother.  
"Reminds me of her.  
"I wish them the best."_

He stopped zoning out.

"Let's go check on your friend in there. You're done for a while."

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"Now, the Spider with a top hat blast. Despite it seeming simple, it won't work 97.32 percent of the time." Glossaryck started.

"Greattt, what do I do?" Star asked.

"You say, 'Spider In A Top Hat Blast.' and put the wand forward." Glossaryck said.

"What?" Star asked standing up, confused.

"Well, if it's so easy, do it!" Glossaryck said.

"Spider in a Top Hat Blast!" Star said.

Nothing happened.

"What the hell?" Star said.

"Spider In A Top Hat Blast." Glossaryck said.

"Spider in A Top Hat Blast." Star said.

Nothing.

"Spider In A Top Hat Blast." Glossaryck said.

"Spider In a Top Hat Blast."

"Spider In A Top Hat Blast."

"spider In a Top Hat Blast."

"Spider In A Top Hat Blast."

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"Spider In A Top Hat Blast." Glossaryck said.

"Spider In A top hat Blast." Star said.

Nothing.

"Oh my god! It won't work! What the hell!?" Star yelled about.

"Star, calm down!" Marco said, holding down laughter, just a bit.

"I see that smile. Quit that, you always do this." Star said, a bit angry.

Marco walked over and put a hand on her shoulder.

"So what's the prob?" Marco said.

Glossaryck answered.

"She's supposed to say, 'Spider In A Top Hat Blast.' She can't get it." Glossaryck said.

"Well, that's not hard. Star, how are you doing it?" Marco asked.

"Spider In A Top Hat blast."

"I see. Capitalize that last word." Marco said.

"Spider In A Top Hat Blast." She said.

This time, a ray of light emitted, leading to a two foot three inch spider, wearing a top hat.

"Now what the fuck is this?" Marco asked.

"Everyone says that." The Spider said, a bit sad.

"Marco, you hurt his feelings! Apologize." Star said, a bit sarcastic, a bit of sympathy.

"Oh, don't worry," The Spider said, "I'll hurt him."

His top hat turned around, turned it into a gun, and shot him once in the toe.

"SONOFABITCH!"

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

 **Alright! Another chapter.**

 **Again: Simon Pegg, 50 points. Quote: 500 points.**

 **Again again: I made outlines for the rest of this story (Six chapters left after this) and two quote-unquote "sequels."**

 **Thanks for reading.**

 **Plz review.**


	11. Preparing for Battle

**Hey! Welcome back.**

 **Well, I got one review, and I refuse to answer it. The other one, for whatever reason, is not showing up. Fuck me.**

 **Here it is, in its entirety.**

 **Woab gud jorb strongbed i rat 42haburegrers/12 haburegrers. gresy.**

 **So.**

 **Thanks to my wonderful followers.**

 **The questions will stay the same.**

 **Let's dive in.**

The next day was the final day of actual practice. They said three days, but Ludo forgot he had a dentist's appointment on the third day, so that would be an off day.

Today was spent just talking about strategy, and how to battle someone.

"You see Star, in Mewni, you take turns in battle. I really don't know how to describe it." Ludo started.

Marco butted in. "It's like an RPG, Earthbound or Undertale." He seemed to cringe at the last word.

"Ohhhh, I get it." Star said.

"Yes, and if you disobey those orders, it's a war crime." Toffee said.

"Once again, we'll split into groups. Marco with Toffee, Star with me, and at the end we will have both of you work together. Capische?" Ludo ordered.

"Alright." Both Star and Marco said in unison.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"The plan is to read. If he starts out strong, you go out strong. If he goes out soft, go out a bit soft, but a little bit harder than him at the same time. Alright?" Toffee started with Marco.

"Mmmhmm."

"However, the big problem is not his fists. Not sure if we told you yesterday, and if we did, we shouldn't've, because you don't know that he is equipped with guns." Toffee said.

"Yes, I do know, a war without guns is like a book without words." Marco said.

"Oh, no, you don't know. He has guns 10 times as capable of killing than they do on Earth. A shot in the toe-"

"Hey!"

"Could be fatal, Diaz. So we need to figure a way for you to avoid bullets."

"And that is-?"

"I know how to pull strings."

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"Now, I've had experience with these sorts of armies. Guns and all that. But they're easy, and if you're wand, they're even easier. For some odd reason, the guns that they are using in Mewni have a self-destruct button, which is what happened in a war I raged in Exitium, which I won in 7 hours. It's called The Seven Hours War." Ludo said.

Glossaryck started teaching as well.

"If you use the Jelly Bean Hallucination spell first, you should be able to easily distract him and press the button. Then, it's down to hand to wand, which you have the advantage." He finished.

Star was still writing what Ludo had finished saying.

"Say that again, and slower?"

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"Now this "Tom" guy is a real hothead. Literally. He is the prince of the underworld, and he is easily angered. Always go soft, because I know him, he doesn't go for the punch until he gets really angry. So beat him slowly." Toffee finished.

"If he's literally 'hot' how do you plan for me to hit him and not get at least 2nd degree burns?" Marco asked.

"I know how to pull strings."

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"Tom is a toughie, for the most part. The spell you need to use on him is the Rainbow Punch. You probably won't be assigned him anyways, so if you run into him, put him out effectively." Glossaryck said.

"Also aim for his nethers, if you are getting what I'm saying. Then get him with the punch, and be quick, because he'll get mad real quick." Ludo added.

"Got it."

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"Now, you two, I'm going to run down what happens." Ludo started.

"For the most part, it is 3 on 2. Me and Toffee will aid you, tell what to do in battle, but only battle if times are desperate. Buff Frog will be the brute force leading the way, while Star and Marco will lead separate fights of their own. Rebeldes will not be our main point of attack yet. He is secondary. Marco will face Tom, and Star and Buff Frog will take on the 'crowd'". Ludo said.

Marco raised his hand.

"Marco?"

"Yes, what is this 'crowd'?"

"Oh, yes, that's about 10,000 Mewnians."

"And you're telling us this now?" Marco asked.

"Marco, be quiet, he knows what he's doing!" Star said.

"Well, it's a good question!"

"No, it's not!"

Buff Frog grabbed them both by their arms.

" _Be quiet. Both of you."_

"Yes sir." They both said.

"I have my plans, Marco. I have my plans.

"Now! The both of you! You may of thought Buff Frog was here just to be here-"

"Yeah, he just stood there without purpose, really." Marco interrupted.

Star hit him, a universal be quiet. Marco didn't listen.

"Why do you always hit me?" Marco complained.

" _Be quiet, Diaz."_ Buff Frog said to Marco.

"Yes sir."

"Now, he is the strength and conditioning of this war. You're in for a goodie."

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"Alright! You will run cross city, all roads, in less than 3 hours. If not, you will restart." Buff Frog said.

"Oh fuck me." Star and Marco said in unison, second time this chapter.

"Begin!"

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

About two hours and fifty-nine minutes later, they finished.

"You got in by narrow 34 seconds. Amateurs." Buff Frog said.

To say they were beat to shit was the understatement of the century. They couldn't even speak legibly.

"So hoew did you felkl yiy duds?" Marco asked.

"I think I did well cosionderging." She replied.

"Conidersigng what?" Marco asked back.

"I havent;t rab cionmpetivivleyu in 15 yeatfrs." Star replied.

"We sahould givbe up on understainding eachotehr." Marco finished.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

One day later, they were still recovering.

However, today was supposed to be important.

Star and Marco were bringing their respective partners to dinner with the family, sort of like a middle school double date where the parent looked over at his/her daughter and make sure the boy didn't try anything.

I'll save any boring details and get to the juicy stuff.

Because shit hits the fan.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

It was 6:37, the time the Diaz's always had dinner.

Jackie was there at 5:00, to have some "not kissing" time with Marco.

Richard was there at 6:36, citing bad knees.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

Dinner wasn't any better.

Both of Marco's parents knew Jackie was a good person, yes. However, they also knew that Richard was a bad person, so they would spend most of their time trying to protect Star from him.

It started off light.

"So Star, how was your training?" Angie asked.

"Good, I think I finally got control of how the wand works. Expect puppies in the next day or so." Star said.

"Well, that's less on the family budget."

Silence.

"So, nothing about my training, mom? I see where I stand." He said sarcastically.

"You're going through training?" Angie said, a bit concerned.

Marco nodded his head.

"Talk to me after dinner."

"I would like to know what we are talking about here." Both Richard and Jackie would ask, though Richard's answer was less sophisticated.

"Oh- yeah-," Marco smiled, nodding towards Star, "Star is a magical princess from another dimension." Marco laughed, expecting a response.

Jackie chuckled lightly, Richard seemed confused.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"So," Angie asked to Jackie and Marco, "how did you two decide to date."

Jackie took control.

"Well, I really didn't see much of him before. But one day, two weeks ago, he came in railing off about his stories with Star, which were quite hilarious. I was surprised by the fact he was able not to criticize her, but still make jokes about living with her. So, in blunt terms, he's a good comedian." Jackie said.

If thoughts could squint their eyes, Angie's did.

 _That's another fake love. I give it 7-9 more days._

Rafael took the other end.

"So, you other two, how did you two decide to date?" He asked.

Star was about to answer, but Richard answered for her.

"She's cute."

 _"Cierra la boca sucia que tragona."_ Rafael thought to himself.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

The night was smooth for Jackie and Marco.

For Star and Richard, it was quite the opposite.

Star made it clear, no PDA, but he kept reaching and reaching, petting the hair, the usual.

And she said to eat the food, Rafael Diaz took pride in his food, and yet this asshat wasn't even eating the food.

It was near the final straw.

Rafael was red as a beet with anger. This food was the best he had in 3 months. C'mon man, take a bite.

There was no talking. Just eating. This Richard guy was uncomfortable. So, he jumped on the bandwagon and ate.

Sadly, he said the first thing that came to mind.

"Man, this tastes like shit!" He said.

" _That's it! You little engendro del infierno, get the mierda out of my house before I kick your culo from here to Mexico City!"_ He yelled, kicking him out. By the way, I wouldn't translate that if I were you.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

Star was in tears.

The first boyfriend she had had since her parents were attacked- incompetent, dumb.

She didn't know either to blame Richard or herself.

And Marco was her only male friend, and one, he was taken, and two, she wasn't interested! Well, not just yet, but she wasn't interested!

At least she had her friends.

Oh, and that war to fight.

This was going to be a great week.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

"Now, I said I was going to talk about that 'war' after dinner. You have a week." Angie started.

"Mom, you are giving me a restriction to fight in a war. That's the most mom you can do." Marco argued back.

"Are you sure, because I can say you can't go, and I hear Star need all the help she can get." Angie argued back.

Marco had horrible images of a dead, beaten Star flash through his mind.

"Yes ma'am."

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

Metal bullshit, like always.

River and Moon were starving, breaking, and just poor.

In came Rebeldes.

He sighed first of all, leaning on the bars.

"I've been thinking-" He started, to be immediately to be interrupted.

"Well, that's a first." River fired.

" _I've been thinking about ending your miserable lives, getting you out of my way, and making your daughter suffer whilst you burn in hell."_ Rebeldes finished, holding his gun.

River laughed.

"Hah, you don't mean any of your words. _You don't have any balls, 'big boy'."_ River said.

"You watch, you fucking geezer. You watch."

He walked away into the dark.

 **Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.**

 **Well, same thing holds as last time, points for Simon Pegg, the quote.**

 **Thanks for reading, plz review.**

 **Five more chapters.**

 **YEET**


	12. Losing the First Battle

**Well I can now read reviews.**

 **I have the power to do the impossible. I am your new messiah. Bow down to me.**

 **Let's read reviews, huh?**

 **Guest (Sorta): Don't understand the question.**

 **theRevil: You'll see more exposition then. I promise. But on impulse it will fuck up by next chapter. Also, you'll see why it was rushed.**

 **Also, the quote was George Carlin.**

 **Let's go.**

The next day, two days before they were to head to battle (Ludo decided if it took a week, then they'd start on a Monday, it's his partial OCD), Marco had to break the news to Ludo.

And man, was that a mistake.

" _What do you mean you have only a week to battle! This war will take an estimated 4 months, and now you say 'oh, sorry Master Ludo, my mommy said I only had a week to win the war.' What the hell are you thinking man! Now we have to start more training, more this, more that-"_

"Master Ludo." Buff Frog interrupted.

"What do you want from me, heathen?" Ludo said, still very pissed.

"We can't do any more training." He said, shaking his leg nervously.

"And why not, Ivanosky Ivanovitch?" He said, racially profiling him.

"Because Mr. Candle is in Arizona. A state to our right." He said.

Ludo was quite defeated. Four months of training usually went down to 3 days for him, but a week was different. He had never actually have to plan for a war that was an estimated week. It sounds strange, but I'll give you a metaphor.

You're a basketball player. You shoot 3 pointers all the time. However, because you are so used to shooting from the 3 point line, as soon as you step inside the 3 point line and attempt a two, you won't know how to adjust and your shot will be overpowered, leading to inaccurate shooting and an extra number in the "L" column.

" _What in the fuc-"_

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

"So, we still head out Monday, right?" Marco asked.

"It is to be assumed." Ludo said, sitting on the kitchen table, holding his hands over his eyes.

"And we are totally unprepared, right?" He asked again.

"We are most likely going to be obliterated." Ludo said, even more depressing than last time.

"And I'm still getting my pudding, right?" Glossaryck asked, asking for his temporary pay.

"Yes. You will eventually. Now- if you please. _Shut the hell up."_ Ludo said, drifting to sleep.

It's his way of avoiding pain. Sleeping.

He does a lot of it.

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

It took me awhile to realize I wasn't including Jackie in much of these chapters. By the way, yes, I am talking to you.

(Don't think I can't do that.)

And I hadn't gone in depth about her relationship with Marco.

And I would like to explain.

You see, this event is a metaphor for an event that has happened in my life. Everything is represented by someone in this story, more or less.

And the role "Jackie" played was my girlfriend that was there to fill a void.

And about 2 years later, I've forgotten about her.

And the same is reflected.

However, I will go in depth right now about the relationship between Jackie and Marco.

Any day now.

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

Marco would not be lying if he said he was just a bit ashamed in dating Jackie.

For whatever reason, he felt ashamed that he was dating her, and was a bit reluctant to admit it.

I mean, she was really popular, why was he so ashamed? He just couldn't put his finger on it.

Also, Marco felt empty. Still.

He had never had a relationship, and as his circles of friends became gaining traction in dating, he was left in the dust, an afterthought of pubescence.

Bros before hoes died, didn't it?

Yet, when he asked Jackie out after the craziest thirty minutes of his life, he expected the void to be filled.

And it wasn't.

It felt as if Jackie wasn't actually interested in his personality. It felt as if Jackie liked him for his humor.

You see, Marco looks for conversation in a girl. Someone who would listen to his stories, as he listened back. Like the opposite of a married man.

He enjoyed conversation with Jackie, but, was she really paying attention, or just waiting for a punchline?

It reminded him of a Green Day song (of course!).

"Dearly Beloved, are you listening?  
I can't remember a word that you were saying"

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

Oh, I'm back.

At this time in my life, "Star" was a new friend of mine. I got moved around because of a talkative student, and this "Star" sat behind me.

We quickly became friends.

And I can't lie, if it wasn't for "Jackie", I would've asked her out on the spot, which is why Marco was a bit upset over "Richard" even coming close to "Star."

But, I wonder, what did "Star" think of me after the forced breakup?

Here's my guess.

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

 _Chapter 11: My Thoughts on Marco_

 _I really never remember "liking" him._

 _I was just attracted. He was hot as fire, and he caught my eye immediately. Plus, he helped me out when I needed it the most._

 _That I thank him for._

 _But after Richard, I was heartbroken._

 _Yes, I regret dating him. Worst two days of my life._

 _But who was the first to comfort me?_

 _Marco._

 _He used his wit, his humor, to cheer me up immediately._

 _He drew those ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) faces all over me, which made me laugh immediately, he made those that's what she said jokes, which were also great, and annoying, and heck, he even pulled in a period joke, which I would usually go feminazi over._

 _He is so underrated._

 _Also mine._

 _I know this sounds weird, but I'm going to use the war to fluster him._

 _To make him want to go out with me._

 _Of course, my parents are the main focus, duh!_

 _But my second goal is to obtain the person no one else wants._

 _Dare I say it, do I love Marco Ubaldo Diaz?_

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

It was Monday. The day war would start.

Angie and Rafael came up with the excuse of a family reunion of Star's, which Marco was invited to, in order for them to miss school without consequence.

They started at 6:45 in the morning.

Final practice started, where Star faced Marco in battle, fist vs wand, to see if A.), the wand could overpower fists, and B.), if Marco's training had worked out well.

Star started off strong, going for the hallucination mist first, and got a good few licks on Marco. However, the hallucination wears off after a punch, and Marco went rapid fire. Then, Star went for an "original" spell, attacking him with a shower of calzones at 30 mph. Marco still prevailed, and got to Star, once again going rapid fire.

However, the battle easily ended at the Spider In A Top Hat Blast, which Star finally perfected (with help from Marco), and Marco had to be healed by Star's wand (which also helped out, surprisingly).

Also, it proved both were ready for eachother.

Oh shit- combat wise, not the other way, you pervert.

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

Immediately after the fight, after Marco had been healed, they left.

And cue Green Day's Holiday.

"Do you wanna start a fucking war?"

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

They all wore backpacks, which were stored with trenchcoats and hats, first off, and then their choice of things to bring.

In Toffee's backpack, was his statistics.

He was a strong believer in statistics. If something was unorthodox, but the statistics said it worked, then do it. At least, that was his philosophy. It also included a copy of Ludo's gameplan.

In Ludo's backpack was, of course, his gameplan, a thing he first used when he first beat the Mewmans, some emergency weapons, and some Charleston Chew candy bars, because you can't beat the taste of Charleston Chew.

In Buff Frog's backpack was some protein shakes and a picture of his children.

In Star's backpack was her diary, the wand, and some snacks.

In Marco's backpack was his karate outfit, which he loved to fight in, a fire extinguisher, and military style foods, which you just add hot water too, and speaking of hot water, he stored some, and he also brought a first aid kit, and other bullcrap he didn't need, including his phone, and, if I were to sit here, telling you all the fucking things he packed into that thing, I would have to make a separate chapter.

So forget that.

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

They used the dimensional scissors left by the Butterfly parents to go to Mewni.

Of course, they first put on the trenchcoats and hats, looking as discreet as possible.

"So Ludo, how many civilians are we fighting, exactly?" Marco asked, a bit concerned.

"Exactly 15,501. I've done my research, and by the end of this conversation, there will only be 4,017. Then Buff Frog will kill the rest." Ludo said, confident in his gameplan.

"By the way, this conversation is over." Marco said, waiting to see what Ludo would do.

"Alright."

Ludo pulled out a button. He pressed it, and 12 different bombs went off, one after one.

The noise was set to the tune of "American Pie", comedically enough.

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

The quintet walked straight into the castle.

The guards had left to go see the damage and save civilian lives, leaving the castle unguarded.

In the conference room, Tom and Rebeldes were having some troubles.

" _If you play that damned draw four card..."_ Rebeldes said, looking at Tom intently.

For the time being, they had decided to play Uno because of the absence of Rebeldes' two other staffers.

"Well." Tom said, smile on his face, "Draw four."

Rebeldes pulled out his gun before a message came over the underground intercom.

"President Prime Minister King Czar Rebeldes The Great Lawmaker Gipper, there has been twelve bombings all placed around the town, and detonated to the tune of Don McLean's American Pie, there are at least 11,000 dead, we need you out here now."

Rebeldes was unfazed by this attack. The Fluridions were looking for revenge after he killed their leaders.

"Damn Fluridions. Maybe if they didn't talk about taking over this place, maybe they wouldn't be the easy suspect. I'll be right back."

However, he was a bit fazed by the thing he got as soon as he opened the door.

Standing there was Star, Marco, and Buff Frog, all wearing their backpacks, with Star holding her wand directly at Rebeldes' face.

"Or maybe you won't." Star said, shooting him with the wand.

He flew back a good 15 feet, hitting the wall with a giant thud.

Buff Frog walked away.

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

Tom took control. He dashed at Star, only to be hit in the head by Marco.

"Hi, I'm Marco." He said, ready to kill.

Tom came at him with his fists first, a move no one would expect.

Tom went slow, going for the head first. However, Marco would go with his patented rapid-fire punching, which hit Tom pretty hard.

From an injury standpoint, it seemed good: take him out quick, he's out of the way.

However, it was not satisfactory to what Toffee had told him.

Take it slow, or he will get too angry.

And boy, did Marco regret not listening to him.

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

On the other side of the room, Rebeldes went guns out early.

He went for the chest first, like in the movies, but of course, that never works, as Star went back with easy shield spells.

However, the shield would be gone after about 10 bullets.

Good thing Rebeldes has a pistol.

After the shield wore off, she would have to use the speed she inherited from her father. Bullet after bullet missed, and Star got closer.

What a homophone for missed?

"Jellybean Hallucination Mist!" Star said, hitting Rebeldes right between the eyes.

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

Tom set in flames, throwing the flames at Marco.

So Marco quickly jumped away, opened his backpack while running, and getting his fire extinguisher. What did you think it was for?

He quickly sprayed Tom with it, and it worked.

Tom fell to the ground and was wiped out.

Marco broke the cardinal rule of war: don't hit a man while he's down.

Marco kicked him 12 times before Tom grabbed his leg and hit him on the ground.

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

Rebeldes fell to the ground, seeming as if he was looking at something that was peaceful and terrifying at the same time.

Star walked up to him and put her hand on the gun.

"Gee, for a guy who felt so high and mighty, you are easy to beat."

However, Rebeldes was faking.

He took the gun off of Star's hand and hit the bottom of the gun against her head.

Out cold.

Then, Buff Frog ran in.

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

Marco took notice of this and yelled, "Star!"

Tom took control of this and punched him square in the gut. The wind was knocked out of him, and he was down.

Tom took for kicks in the head, looking for revenge.

Marco crawled for Buff Frog, and Buff Frog noticed. Buff Frog went and one punched Tom, knocking him out.

Then he ran to Star.

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

Rebeldes went for the wand immediately, looking for its power, as he had been hit by it by a few minutes ago.

However, Buff Frog was there quickly, and hit him before he could get it. He quickly exchanged it to Star's limp hand, so the wand would not affect him.

He ran towards the door, where Ludo was waiting in a portal.

As soon as Buff Frog walked in, Rebeldes hit him in the leg with a bullet, and he fell into the portal.

Rebeldes' Army: 1 Star's Army: 0

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

Twenty minutes after the battle, which they knew they won, Rebeldes and Tom spoke.

"Well, can we assume that's why Buff Frog isn't here half of the time?" Tom asked, ready to pull off a bit of an insult.

"Yeah. The same with the Toffee guy too." He said, a bit discouraged.

"So, half of the people you hired are traitors?" Tom said, criticizing him lightly.

"Yeah, I'm just like the U.S. Border Portal. Useless." He said, setting his head down in pain.

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

Rebeldes walked out in pain. Mentally and physically.

He had a gun in his hand, walking over to a sleeping River and Moon.

" _Let's see who has balls now, old man."_

 **Time Skip Quote: So how is your sex life?**

 **Well, that took two days, but it's finished.**

 **What's the quote from? That's 250 points.**

 **I'll see you guys next time.**

 **Four more chapters! Yeet yeet.**


	13. The End

**Well well well.**

 **I'm back.**

 **And it's far from good news.**

 **Setup is over.**

 **I've lost my groove for this story, and everything I've wrote is shit.**

 **So for now, I'm going to regularly update my One-shot series, "Star vs the Forces of my Musical Taste." Get back into the groove of regular writing, and then come up with an idea for a full-pledged story. Don't know how long that'll take.**

 **Now: leaderboards.**

 **I'm going to tally up the amount of times I've given points.**

 **Here it is:**

 **1.) Catalyst6- 200 points**

 **2.) Guest (Sorta)- 112.5 points**

 **3.) ChelJosh- 85 points**

 **4.) Random Guest- 50 points**

 **5.) theRevil- 20 points**

 **Well, thanks to all who played and read.**

 **Until next time.**


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